Needing a vacation from the vacation

I mean, I suppose we should've seen it coming. Kiddo goes wonky when off routine. But you get in vacation mode and you start to check out mentally and in between the packing up clothes and the did I remember sunscreen? and the oh shoot is the toaster unplugged? and making sure you have directions and all that, remembering your child has ADHD and will not be in vacation mode doesn't necessarily top the list. Apparently.

We were at one of those adorable old-fashioned family resorts where everyone eats in the big dining room and there are games and a lake to play on and the staff puts on a show at night. Think the resort in "Dirty Dancing," except, you know, no dirty dancing. Though there was a Mardi Gras parade through the dining room featuring Spider-Man. DH's family used to vacation there every year, and we were back for Grandma's birthday (and the staff remembered them. Impressive).

But there was too much going on, I guess, or too much to look at, or maybe everything smelled too different, who knows. All of kiddo's "behaviors" ramped up to the nth degree.

First, kiddo figured out how to open the cabin room door. And ran out. Repeatedly. Kiddette frequently followed, because she thinks everything her big brother does is cool, especially when it's not. One or three of us would have to sprint after them and catch them. Preschoolers: Faster than you think.

Then, mealtimes. At every single meal, kiddo would push off from the table and run. At random. For no good reason. One time he got all the way out of the main building, into the parking lot and in front of a (parked) shuttle bus. Needless to say, this freaked us out a bit.

Also, bladder control. He had three accidents in two days, twice because he just wasn't noticing that he had to go. The final time wasn't entirely his fault -- he did ask to go potty after dinner, and I hustled him down the hall to the restroom. Which, for the first time all weekend, actually had a line in it. And the people in the stalls must have been writing their memoirs in there, because those doors stayed good and closed. And I pleaded with kiddo to hold it but I knew it was a lost cause, and eventually he just couldn't anymore. The old biddies in back of us clucked sympathetically and I had a brief desire to tell them where they could stick their sympathy.

And then I had to haul his wet self back to the dining room to grab the bag where I was keeping extra pants and underwear, and then haul it back to the restroom to change him (again), and this was the point where I finally lost it entirely and yelled at him, and became utterly convinced that we were never going to be able to take a vacation with him anywhere ever.

Also, they had to sing Happy Birthday to Grandma while we were in the bathroom, because they couldn't hold up the kitchen staff.

Four adults. One ADHD kid. And we couldn't keep him in line.

We did discuss the issue with his therapist this week, who suggested in future to arrive at the destination a day early, then reestablish a normal routine with him, just low-key going about the day, without immediately jumping into sightseeing or other activities. That would reset him, I guess. Bottom line is, there is no vacation from his condition. We don't get to pretend he's a normal 5-year-old.

The therapist also said quieter, nature-centric spots would be better for him than amusement parks, because that would be way too much overstimulation. Disney, for instance, would be like Vegas to him. (So much for hitting Disney next year.) I don't mind nature-centric spots. So at least that's an option.

Still, I don't think I'm in any hurry to take another vacation.