Happy ADHD Awareness Month?

Which I'm slightly dubious about. I like the idea, let's say, but the execution, in past years, has seemed ... a bit circular. Are we raising awareness among each other or the general public? Because if the general public hears the same conversational checklist every year about why ADHD is real, isn't the general public going to get annoyed and tune out?

Also I think the general public might be more concerned with Ebola right now.

And the thing is, I don't need my awareness raised. I'm pretty well aware. What I could use is some advocating. Like, can some awareness-raising expert also explain why I can't find a social skills group that takes insurance? Or why the one group my insurer recommended that allegedly does take insurance explained to me they'd just hired several facilitators that wouldn't be covered, and there's no way of knowing whether the person who'd be running my son's group would be someone covered or not covered, but hey, want to schedule an intake appointment anyway, because why are you getting hung up on whether this group is affordable, you self-centered mom who only cares about paying the bills? Isn't your son worth all your savings?

Sorry, I might be over-extrapolating.

After the enormous debacle of the private occupational therapy company that swore they'd take insurance but really meant they'd screw up three months' worth of invoices and then nag us to send them the cash, I'm not interested in taking on another facility that kinda sorta maybe well-it-depends takes insurance. I'm interested in dealing with actual experts who know how to file paperwork. These do not feel like high expectations.

My point? If we're going to go on and on how ADHD is real and get archly defensive about how medication is sometimes necessary, shouldn't we also go on and on about how potential alternatives to medication, or at least supplements to medication -- like OT, like social skills groups -- are either not covered by insurance or are completely unattainable? Shouldn't we also describe how trying to do the right thing for your child can frequently mean wanting to throw something at the wall? (Usually the phone.)

And our family is in a relatively good position, comparatively speaking, in that kiddo has a behavioral therapist, an IEP, a special education teacher who seems to be trying hard to do right by him and relatives who support him without carping that ADHD isn't real. Yet still some days are a trial.

So you'll forgive me if I'm not precisely on the awareness bandwagon. I guess I'm sitting in the corner going, "But what does all this mean to me?" And if that's self-centered, well, so be it. Possibly I'm not the activist type. More of the "get things done so I can go to bed" type.

Anyhow. In the interest of absolute fairness, here's the official link to ADHD Awareness Month. By all means, decide for yourself about it.

Sigh.

I don't really know what to say about the Connecticut shootings, other than it's horrible and I don't know why this keeps happening. I can't even imagine being those parents right now. I feel profoundly lucky that our biggest concern today is buying a new tree stand, not planning a funeral.

I don't know why the shooters are always boys. What possesses them? What are they thinking? Are they so unable to process their pain or their anger or their trauma or whatever it is that they need to spread that pain around before ending everything?

How do we stop it from happening?

I will say it concerns me that the suspect was (allegedly) autistic, or had some other sort of disorder (no one seems clear on that yet). Because I would hate to have people leap to conclusions about autistic kids.

Clearly I'm not the only one concerned about that. From cnn.com:

"Autism is not a mental health disorder - it is a neurodevelopmental disorder," said the Autism Research Institute's Autistic Global Initiative Project. "The eyes of the world are on this wrenching tragedy -- with 1 in 88 now diagnosed, misinformation could easily trigger increased prejudice and misunderstanding."

There are a few similarities between autistic (at least Asperger's) kids and ADHD kids -- increased smarts coupled with an inability to read social cues. So I have an interest in these matters.

I spent most of yesterday checking in on the story on my phone, even while DH and I were doing gift shopping, even while we were out at a rare kid-free dinner (thanks to MIL). At one point we were in the car and a rock station played "Jeremy," and while I'm normally happy to hear Pearl Jam this struck me as unbelievably inappropriate and we switched stations. Hey, why not play Boomtown Rats while you're at it? Throw in Foster the People's "Pumped Up Kicks" and you can have a whole school shooting playlist. How totally ironic and postmodern. Jerks.

Sigh.

Anyway. Kiddo is doing okay-ish. Still acting up in class, with a little less hitting and pushing. He's already started OT, which is wonderful, and the school agreed to some other accommodations, including a behavior chart with specific rewards he can earn (the school social worker who set it up for him reported he seemed pretty excited about it) and a squishy fidget toy for him to hold during class. I think compression shirts seem to help him, so I'm going to buy a few more. The school is still balking at an IEP but they did say it's the next step if these modifications don't work. So we'll see. Being patient is annoying but no bureaucracy in the history of ever has moved quickly on anything.


I think we could all use the holiday break, frankly. I'm wiped. Kiddo whines every morning, "I don't want to go to school!" Some time away would do us all good.

And again, so grateful that we get to have a normal Christmas vacation.