Sunday, November 18, 2012

And now back to our regularly scheduled angst

Just before that whole storm thing, DH and I met with various school officials for that RTI meeting. It seemed promising. I don't think I've ever been in a meeting where everyone involved was so utterly on the same page. That being: Kiddo is smart -- even a little ahead of the game academically -- likable and happy, but he can't sit still, can't focus well, needs constant supervision, doesn't deal well with transitions and has trouble interacting with other kids. We knew all this already, but it was nice that the others all saw it, too. So they planned to do in-class observation to figure out what needs to be done next, and we were waiting on the evaluation from the school occupational therapist. And then the storm hit and I have no idea where we are on any of this.

In the meantime, he's had a lousy week. Not listening. Refusing to work. Getting in scuffles with the other kids. Pushing, apparently unprovoked. And then coming home and lying to us about how his day was. His teacher's been emailing us daily updates, of course, so we call him out on that. I even read him one of the emails.

The lying bothers me but it's apparently pretty common in ADHD kids (not to mention kids in general, I imagine). They can't control their behavior, they feel bad about what they did, they try to cover it up. I think as long as we keep reminding him it's wrong, and show him we know the truth anyway, he'll give it up. At least I hope.

He keeps name-checking one kid in class as taunting him, claiming the kid calls him a "bad boy." Which seems pretty plausible, considering I met this kid on the zoo trip and either he's got what kiddo has, or he's a jerk. But kiddo is going to have to be able to deal with this stuff. I told him not to play with the kid, and that just because someone calls you a name doesn't mean it's true. But his teacher has observed that kiddo seems drawn to the kids who are likely to clash with him and make fun of him. Not sure what that's about. Maybe he wants attention so badly he'll put up with negative attention? Maybe he doesn't know a jerk when he sees one?

Two other problems: His talking doctor -- aka his behavioral therapist -- is about to stop taking our insurance. And his gym doctor -- aka his occupational therapy facility -- is no longer a option, because of billing issues. As in, they agreed to take our insurance even though they don't usually, and they don't really have a medical billing person on staff, just an office assistant, and our insurer had no record of any of the claims all summer but we didn't know that until the owner called us in a panic, because there was this $2,000 unpaid bill and other people owed them money too and she was afraid they'd have to shut down. This was probably information we could've used before the bill became $2,000. Anyway I've been calling the insurer, and making the OT resend claims, and they've been getting payments slowly but complaining that the payments aren't enough, and trying to make us pay the balance, and then the last month's worth of claims were denied because the code on them was deemed not medically necessary. When I told the office assistant that, she told me to call the insurer and find out which codes they meant. And then I blew up at her via email, on the grounds that I was not doing her job for her.

The upshot: The owner called the insurer instead to try and work things out. She also frostily informed me via email that she had decided not to accept insurance in the future. I frostily replied that we appreciated all their help but were trying for in-school OT, and that would probably be best for everyone involved.

I'm hoping school OT comes through, obviously.

So: No talking doctor, no gym doctor. No support system for kiddo, right when he needs it most. That has to be a factor in his behavior. Frustrating because I know he loved going to both. I'll try and find another therapist, maybe one who focuses on social skills. I'll find him something else. I do hope the school comes through on some help.

At least they see there's a problem. A lot of times, school officials either think ADHD is bogus or they think the kid's problem is bad parenting, or they (illegally) push the parents to medicate. But here, they seem to know what they're doing. And they like him.

He really is a sweetheart of a kid. If we could just help him figure out how to be the best version of himself, instead of the worst.

1 comment:

  1. I love you and I will help you any way I can.