Sunday, March 6, 2011

The government would like to inform you that your crib is a deathtrap

So the CPSC has posted an extended FAQ of sorts about the new crib standards. As of June 28, "it will be illegal to manufacture, sell, contract to sell or resell, lease, sublet, offer, provide for use, or otherwise place in the stream of commerce a crib that does not comply with the CPSC’s new standards for full-size and non-full-size cribs. This includes manufacturers, retail stores, Internet retailers, resale shops, auction sites and consumers." Apparently, if you need a new crib before June 28, you're on your own in making sure the crib meets the new standards (which apply to slats, mattress supports and hardware in addition to drop sides). 

Also, owners of drop-side cribs are encouraged to get immobilizers. If your crib was in a recall, the manufacturer is required to provide one for free. If your crib was never recalled but you figure better safe than sorry, pony up $10, sucker, and be glad we didn't charge you for shipping.

Does the immobilizer make your crib safe according to the new standards? No. Also, the CPSC only tested and approved immobilizers for recalled cribs. You with your non-recalled crib, you are, once again, on your own.

And you over there with your perfectly functional stationary crib? Don't be so smug:

 "Is a study, non drop-side crib okay for a consumer to use?
It is unlikely that your current crib will meet the new crib standards. The new standards require stronger hardware and rigorous testing to prove a crib’s durability. If you continue to use your current crib, you are encouraged to check the crib frequently to make sure that all hardware is secured tightly and that there are no loose, missing, or broken parts."

Obviously, you can't resell or give away your old deathtrap. The CPSC suggests you dismantle it and discard it. Gosh, maybe we could all have a big bonfire and invite the manufacturers whose shoddy manufacturing caused this big, expensive, fatal problem in the first place. Want to bring the marshmallows, guys? I'll get the graham crackers and chocolate. I know you can't afford much, what with all the recalls and the immobilizer kits and all that. You poor things.

So what to do if you're still using your deathtrap and don't really have the money to go out and buy a non-deathtrap crib in June? Check the hardware frequently, or consider switching to a play yard. Because there are never any recalls associated with play yards. Nope. Never. Not a chance. No way.

1 comment:

  1. They can bite me, our cribs are fine. That damn thing cost four hundred dollars and I am not going to let some alarmist jerks scare me.